FF與CALI....

我三年前加入FF成為會員,
一個月內我交了一群好朋友,
一起去健身,參加有氧課,有時候還會一起晚餐,看電影......

七個月前我terminatedFF的會員,
轉會加入加州健身中心,
一直到今天,我沒有認識一個朋友,
除了那個每天固定拿毛巾給我的那個工作人員....

所以,我都是一個人獨來獨去....

好想念,FF的朋友.....

2 things i feel a little bit regret ..........

1st...

i am not longer in Fitness 1st..
yes, i quit FF and joined CALI ....
i still remember when i told a friends that i terminated FF and join CALI,
she ask me why i am downgrading myself..:(
( me want to upgrading CALI can not meh ??????????? :)+:(=? )
until now i only go swiming at mid valley in the morning,
but never go for workout in the evening,
sigh ! i miss FF, how do i get to use to CALI leh ?

2nd...

i bought another new condo at Kuchai Lama,
not expensive but not cheap also, rm185k...
and i only took 60% loan from bank,
mean i have to pay to developer 40% by my own money..:(
since i signed my S&P before chinese new year till now,
i almost settled my 40% progress payment,
the rest 60% will be settle by the financier.....

but do you know how much is 40% for rm185k ?
is rm74k...it is my 6 years saving :(
but i am giving all out only in a second...:(
oh my god, i dun even have money to make my credit card payment now, ha ha~~

but what make me feel regret is not the money issue..
the one was bothering me now is :
do i need 2 houses in KL ?
i love my house in bukit jalil now in deep,
so what sould i do once my new condo completely ???
move or not move ??
move ..... then how about my bukit jalil apartment ?
rent or not rent ?
rent ...... what if my tenant do not take care of my house ??


sigh... so regret...

my window for you....

( in english version...)


a blue moon rise high up above,
gracing through the passage of memories.
the same moonlight that shined onto our clutch......

revearing question without answer, turning around in circles,
your name carved onto my heart refused to be forgotten,
a mellow pain make itself felt.

eventhough time can flush the pain gradually,
word that i want to tell u can never be said, mellow heartache......

my heart still leave you an opened window,
awaiting for you to remember me and come back for a visit,
freedom is yours to keep, to love you is to let you roam the path you want to take....

hard to believe we have separated into our own ways,
never again to stay on, all hopes blown dried...
the same moonlight, shivering cold beam onto pathways which would never meet...

is there an opened window in your heart as well ?
would you stretch to look out when loneliness come knocking ?
the same moonlight then does it reflect in your heart as well ?

like me, no where to hide,
blue blue moonlight, mellow heartache.....

留給你的窗...

本來我以為,

我的手還可以摸到你的臉....

可是現在我只能希望,

你能聽到, 我用我的心為你唱的歌.....

就算以後我們之間,剩下的只是無妨~但是還是希望,有一天你能夠明白,這一扇窗的存在意義......

--------------------------------

頂著藍色月亮　走在回憶長廊　

那一樣的月光照過我們緊握的手掌

問題沒有答案　轉了多少個彎　妳還簽了名在我心上　不能遺忘

就算時間能沖淡了憂傷　想對你說的再也無法講　淡淡心酸

我的心還為你留一扇窗　等你想起我回來看一看

自由屬於你　愛你就該放手讓你去想去的地方

怎麼能相信我們已走散　不會再停站　希望已風乾

一樣的月光　冷冷的照在　兩個人不重疊的路上

你的心是否也有一扇窗　寂寞時也會抬頭看一看

當時的月光　後來是否也出現在你想念的心上

像我一樣　無處可藏　

藍色月光　淡淡心酸

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dYM9WZbmY8

hui jia

wo hai bu ming bai, wei shen me li kai le wo.
mei you ni de dian hua, mei you yi feng xin,
wo mei tian wan shang zai zhe li, na li ye bu xiang qi.

ke shi, wo hao ai ni, wo jue de wo hui li bu kai ni.
ke shi, wo diu le ni, man man wo de yan lei liu xia lai.

hui jia hui jia, wo xu yao ni.
hui jia hui jia, ma shang lai wo de shen bian.

bie zai ku, jiu rang ta zou,
zai duo tong ku de deng hou xiang xin wo ye neng chen shou,
bi shang yan, bu zai liu lian, ni que yi bian you yi bian chu xian zai xiang ni de ye.

bie shuo, bu hui you jie guo, yong yuan yong yuan bie shuo feng shou.
er ni, you zen me neng gou,
jiu zhe yang de fang shou yi qi bu zai hui tou.

be here, just be there my one and only love
hui jia, hui jia, wo xi yao ni...ooooooohhhhhh

WHY ?

why i dun have things to write.....



?????

Picture taken at Wat Po...
Which is have big indoor sleeping Buddha and Massage center's temple....

BaNgKoK HeRe We Go....

12/4/2006 to 17/4/2006

What My Heart Wants To Say .....

Around that time Jack began to appear in his dreams, Jack as he had first seen him, curly-headed and smiling and bucktoothed, talking about getting up off his pockets and into the control zone, but the can of beans with the spoon handle jutting out and balanced on the log was there as well, in a cartoon shape and lurid colors that gave the dreams a flavor of comic obscenity. The spoon handle was the kind that could be used as a tire iron. And he would wake sometimes in grief, sometimes with the old sense of joy and release; the pillow sometimes wet, sometimes the sheets.
(BROKEBACK MOINTAIN.........................)

關於他和他之間....
人在蒼天下,人在青山間,人在野火旁,
他們曾經翻滾,曾經互毆,曾經流血,曾經狂笑...
最後,這一切都得藏放在心田的記憶庫內.
在藍天和大地面前,人是渺小的,他們的愛情是卑微的.
在好山好水之下,他們的歎息,風聽見了,雨也聽見了!


What My Heart Wants To Say

you're amazing, so amazing
have I told you, enough
you're my angel, guardian angel

god knows I've been blessed with love
but if I been gone tomorrow
would you know how deep my loves goes

have I ever told you you're the one
if the words don't come my way
hope its still love, hope it still shows
if the words don't come my way
hope you still know what my heart wants to say

words so tender
I surrender to this feeling
so truemy affirmation my inspiration

darling, I have been blessed with you
if the words don't come my way
hope you still know, hope it still shows
if the words don't come my way
I hope you still know what my heart wants to say

but if I be gone tomorrow
would you know how deep my loves goes

if I was gone forever
would you know how much I care

you make me feel like flying and failing all emotion
that everytime you look at me, you see it in my eyes

if the words don't come my way, I hope you still know
if the words don't come my way, I hope you still know
I hope it still shows

if the words don't come my way, I hope you still know
what my heart wants to say

if the words don't come my way, I hope you still know, hope it still shows

if the worst don't come my way
hope you still know
I hope it still shows
I hope still you know
what my heart wants to say.....

sMs........

18/2/2006

9:25am
I am sori 2 make u upset, could you pls switch on ur phone n talk ?
i know i am very mafan n slow...
help me 2 change la,
dun just be angry at me..:(

9:27am
I dun wan us 2 b like tis la,
u hav tings u r not hapi about me, the we talk.
voice it up, dun keep it...
Or perhaps u finali realised how lousy a person i m..
Regret ???

9:32am
It seem every week i am injuring ur emotion.
Tings dat i do or tings dati dun do.
if there is a lab manual on how 2 work out a rltship,
i tink i could use one !!!

9:36am
Then again, dat why there is tis probation period,
if u r comfotrablewif someone,
u give both parties d chance.
6 months d longest in a company or relationship,
Both can terminate d agreement wif a single latter.

9:39am
Tink rltship is d same.
Bothparties hav d rite 2 pull out.
Mayb not as simple as a letter.
Time spent, effort put in,
it wil cos some heart pain.

9:41am
Stil if can't b 2gether,
better not get tings 2 ugly then break off.
good to remain as frens then not talkin at all.
Dun you tink so ?

9:45am
It seems dat i always got to express myself 2 get 2 u,
Can't reach tru call, sms.
u angry, i hav 2 explain tru sms.
Love u oso tru sms.

NIGHT B4 Valentine

you held me in front of mirror after we took shower.

"can you think of anything about us?"
you asked me and kissed me.

"emmmmm.....!!eeerrrrrrrr......!! i love you !"

that's all i could think about.

how are we gonna be after 3 or 5 years ????
is there a future waiting for us or just a memory...

i could not sleep that night....


(and we ended our valantine's night with a drink at fitness 1st in Leisuremall....)

dear....

You get to see me in things we like to do together..
Like fighting fish...

Each time I see one,
I remember us go hunting for them.

Each time I feel down,
I just remember you making that cute funny voice and silly faces i just feel much better,

YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE :)

So DONOT feel blue ok !!!!
each day is a successful day for YOU.. :)

Dear....

a friend asked me yesterday in sms : "When are you at your happiest?"

i thought about it for few seconds,
closed my eyes, reached in,
and then I answered : "When someone that I love loves me."

that answer memperbosankan her. ha ha~~
then she replied.

"Peng you, you got guts to say that. i thought you would say when you are drinking or sleeping or something like that."

i didn't bother to answer her then.
i still think so, that's how I feel deep down, like everyone else. :)

Hey peng you, " i am in love right now !"

"平時一樣窗前月,才有梅花便不同."


Buddha, what does that mean ?
Buddha keeping quiet...

Buddha, you do not have love !
..............but, i do !



佛祖,這究竟是什麼意思?
佛祖無言,佛祖心如止水........
佛祖,你沒有愛情吧?
我聽見自己輕輕的說,可我有...

John, i do miss you very much....

How could I be wrong - The Auteurs

In my role as a groundbreaker
As a pallbearer, ah-ho
In my past life as a benifactor
My lost years as an actor
The stars are brighter
Are lighter than they have been for years
Those stars are tighter
At one time I’ve never seen so many stars

How could I be wrong?
How could I be
How could I be
How could I be wrong?
In my role as a peacemaker
As a lifesaver, ah-ho
In your room as a plan hatcher
A soul snatcher
The stars are brighter
Are lighter than they have been for years
Those stars are tighter
At one time I’ve never seen so many stars

How could I be wrong?
How could I be
How could I be
How could I be wrong?
How could I be wrong?
How could I be
How could I be
How could I be wrong?

A question.....

If to live is to suffer.
What makes you want to live?

Unpredictable...or ????????

To My Friends Who Are...........................HEARTBROKEN...........

Heartbreaks last as long as you want,
and cut as deep as you allow them to go.
The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them....

Hey....

I'm come to visit u in ur email inbox!It's seems your life is a bit messed up and frustrating right now..
but, i hope that you able to stand strong and try to be calm at this moment...
at this time, it may feel as if nothing else can do anything for you, but i hope and i pray that both of you get enough courage to go thru this difficult times..

When things has happened, just face it without much looking back too much,
we all experienced this, if you are thinking too much,
you actually trap you yourself in a unescapable cage,
and the future is dark when your mind think it is,
so be positive then your will witness the rainbow during the storm,
and do your life better...

Listen my dearest friend,
if you have any frustrations that you want to vent out,
do always contact a friend, someone you feel like want to talk to....
(( me not a good adviser, but i can be a good listener...)))
I am willing to listen with a listening ear,
or maybe a "listening eye" reading your email to me. :)However, many of us are care for you,
and we wish we can over there beside you...

So....cheer up ya....
smile make us better, worry brings us to mental funeral...

with friendly love............................

Nerves

I lost all sense of my nerves....
I suddenly just want to do things differently.....

Why peoples look likes ignore me in the gym recently ????
omg, what have i done ?

I need to break free, I am suffocating,
for the first time since many years ago,
last nite I had felt like I was drowning.
Me never felt so emotinal in gym but i did last nite,
at least from my recollection of feel i never had that feel in the past.....

Sigh ! I am not only failed in relationship, also in friendship ka ?

So useless...........

Life is a fucking bitch........

satu perasaan

Pernahkah kau rasa ingin berbual-bual dengan orang yang amat kau senangi.Kau dengannya minum bersama-sama,hingar-bingar di sekeliling tidak kau pedulikan,kau duduk di tepi dinding kaca,di mana kau boleh melihat hujan atau cahaya matahari.Saujana mata memandang.Sambil bercerita apa sahaja.Pernahkah?

Pernahkah kau rasa ingin berjalan bersama-sama dengan orang yang amat kau senangi,bahu membahu.Kau bercerita sambil melihat langkah kaki yang seolah sama,sesekali melihat awan putih di atas sana.Ketawa bersama dengan gembiranya,terasa lapang di dada.Sambil bercerita apa sahaja.Pernahkah?

Pernahkah kau rasa ingin duduk di sebuah bangku kayu,bersama-sama dengan orang yang amat kau senangi.Kau bersandar sambil berpeluk tubuh,memandang jauh ke hadapan.Tetapi tiada apa yang dibicarakan.Dan kau tidak berasa sunyi,kerana ada dia yang sudi menemani.Pernahkah?

Pernahkah kau rasa ingin menghubungi orang yang amat kau senangi.Seolah percakapan-percakapan kau dengannya dapat melenyapkan rusuh di hati.Tetapi,ternyata kau lebih banyak diam dari bercakap.Dan kau tahu dalam sunyi yang mengisi waktu itu,dia masih di hujung sana,menemani.Pernahkah?

Pernahkah kau rasa satu perasaan yang sangat sunyi dan sepi?Tiada yang lebih sunyi melainkan perasaan yang sedang kau rasai saat itu.Pernahkah kau rasa kau bersendirian di dunia ini?Seperti tiada siapa yang peduli tentang diri mu.

Kadang-kadang aku merasai perasaan itu.
Kadang-kadang aku suka akan perasaan itu.
Kadang-kadang aku rimas akan perasaan itu.
Sunyi.Sepi.Sendiri...

(Copied from somewhere...)

Failed !

Ha ha !

I think my confession is not successful,
but never mind, the hope is still there,
even if the hope isn't there,
at least I honestly to myself and also to him,
at least I didn't resisting what I had feel inside my heart....

ANYWAY....

I am happy now........


(((aku tak percaya lagi, dengan apa yang kau beri....)))

nyanyi-ing............................

sELf-TaLkiNg

Hi juruteknik....

So in the end I ended my sick with the porridge :)

Yes, it was J, cooked me a porridge, I think this's sweet and thoughtful, if I like someone, that's what I would do so. No one would got to that extend if the love did not exist, betul tak..?? !! :)

Well, I hope i'll do something about it. It might be bliss in silence but sometimes procrastinations will lead to regrets. I certainly do not wish that to happen to myself. I've been in this circle since many years ago, and I realized it's really rare to find someone who will love (or like) someone without reservations.

Should I give myself a shot at it?
Should I just go for it ?

What i am still worry for ????

I dun want to adding this to my list of disappointment in future....

But, what i am so worry for ????

from,
Ooi Chong Hien